At the moment I feel like I’m walking on type rope hold a huge poll with all the aspects of my life balanced at either end, I don’t feel stable and at any minute it’s all going to come tumbling down to the ground. I know Rome wasn’t built in a day and going to get some time before I get my groove back with working, being a Mammy, running a home and all the other 20 million jobs I do at once.
I’m enjoying it, I really am but this week has been the worst week ever for making it work, Its been Miss C’s birthday so I’ve been planning parties baking, shopping for presents. Ive’ had my folks here so although they never put pressure to on us to do “Stuff” It’s not cheap to come out here and I want to ensure whoever makes the effort to come has a fab time. To top it all off were all ill too, well me and the kids are at least, both Miss C and myself are on antibiotics, it’s one of those situations where if you stop you’ll fall down and won’t get back up. So I’m not stopping.
It’s an amazing feeling though, going back to work when you’ve been a stay at home Mammy, I feel alive albeit half dead at the moment and mature again… if that makes any sense. I still have to say things like “don’t put your bus in the toilet or don’t put a raisin up your nose” and that’s just to the clients but I’m also having adult conversations about important things too. Ok a bus down the toilet is very important too but in a different way.
Initially I was going to give myself a time limit and then if it hadn’t worked out then I’d have to give it up but to be honest I don’t want to give myself a limit, I’m going to be patient with myself, It’s all about comfort zones and to be honest I’m way out of mine, hand me a syringe, a bottle of medicine and a sick child to care for and to make feel special I’m comfortable because I was doing that before I even became a Mammy, hand me a computer and lots of media jargon and it may take a while, I’m just used to my little old blog and that’s it. However with absolutely EVERY thing I do, I do it to the best of my abilities I just hope thats enough.