Just another day in my life……. You know the type of day I’m talking about starts off great. You venture out to lunch to meet friends, toddler is being really cute, playing happily, then it all turns to shit! Firstly he pulls a picture frame off the wall, next there’s puzzle pieces flying everywhere.
Thankfully the food arrives, no matter how much people say they’re not judging you, they are!
Food is over, so the hat, coat and scarf battle commences again long with the stiff like board refusal of going into the buggy. A quick rendition of wind the bobbin up defuses the situation. Phew!
Now it’s time for the piste de resistant, the toddler hair cut, I really have no idea what is normal toddler behavior for haircuts but I know LPV’s is epic, he’s often scalped in various places over his noggin as he freaks out and won’t sit still. The scene resembles that of Steve Erwin trying to wrestle a crocodile, bribing him with chocolate………that’s right I bribe my child! When I was expecting him, reading my books etc, I was never going going to be one of “those” mothers. I hate to break it to you whether your preggers for the first time or have the perfect baby, YOU WILL turn into one of those mothers whether you like it or not! Haircut is over he looks…………erm, ok! We start the walk home, I try to peg it past the supermarket but he see’s it and freaks out. This is due to me saying about buying daddy’s dinner early when the day was like a scene from Mary Poppins. We go in he gets his basket you can push and away he goes picking up the stuff I tell him too, being an angel.
He didn’t even run off at the check out, so against my better judgement I let him walk home, outside the supermarket there’s an accordion player, he does a little dance, claps her when she’s finished and has ago himself! He holds my hand at the road, telling me its red so “stop”.
Why is there never anyone around to witness these moments??
We walk past the flower seller and boom, bye bye Mary Poppins again, hello Texas chainsaw massacre! He’s refusing to leave and “smelling” the flowers, the florists arse is twitching like mad, as is mine this is most expensive flower stall in the city and the haircut and supermarkets have cleaned out my purse. I coax him away but now he’s stood glued to the spot refusing to move.
I try the softly approach to try and regain some Mary Poppins back into our lives but no, I count to three and have to pull him along! We cross the road and I hear someone shouting his name, I look around and it’s his daycare teacher……………..farking typical !!!!
He refuses to even look at her, at this point now he’s being wrestled back into the buggy which is tipping over every time I let go. He’s finally in, we walk the rest of the way home, go straight to bed and within minutes he’s asleep.
Why doesn’t this happen to daddy’s, I’m eight months pregnant with gestational diabetes so I can not even pacify myself with chocolate. Anyhow I’m going for a snooze maybe when we’ve both had a snooze we’ll wake up and won’t be in “Texas” anymore..
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