Today was a day of change for my wee man, today he started Peuterspeezaal. This is like a form of dutch nursery school/playschool, I’ve been talking to him about for quite some time, however you never really know how much they actually take in. Or whether he’s like his daddy and gets that glazed over look when I talk too much.

The day didn’t get off to a great start, when I mentioned him getting dressed for school he went quiet and turned back to watch Thomas again. He then looked at me teary eyed and said “mammy come too” this then destroyed me and EPD came down stairs to find us both crying cuddling each other.

So we all got dressed got in the car, drove to new school and I took him in, it started well he handed over snuggy & na (snuggle blanket & dummy) and went to find his favourite bus that he knew they had. I told the teacher I was just going to leave after I said goodbye to him, she walked over to him and he went nuts. I just left and went around the corner to look in the window, I could still hear him screaming, next thing I know my phone rings and its EPD ”wanna come sit in the car?” amusing really as he couldn’t leave either. We waited for a bit and then I went back to see if he was ok. Worse mistake I could make, I peeked in and seen MY baby, alone in the corner crying. Que mother guilt on a whole new level, the pre school teacher in me knew what they were doing, they’ve other children to deal with and they were doing circle time, probably hoping to entice him to join in. However the mother in me wanted to burst in scoop him up and call them heartless bitches and keep him at home with me.

Later I had a call to say he was fine and when I went to fetch him he was as happy as a pig in poop, they said he was happy but has quote “A lot of rules to learn” sweet jesus lady he’s two and a half of course he has rules to learn and it is his first day.

Anyway he’s been talking about school a lot this afternoon so I hope he’s more chipper when he returns on Friday and I’m less emotional

I don’t think this will ever get easier, I’m a protector now and its my instinct to protect my young, like a lioness, rooooooaaaaaaaarrrr!